A New Game Plan

I've been avoiding writing this semester because I thought I'd feel guilty about dedicating time to something personal when I could be using that time to study. Today I need a break, I am on the verge of a breakdown from studying for my stats class. I need to take a break, and let myself do something relaxing even if for a half hour.
I've had a problem with coming up with time to myself this year. On Saturday, I got up, studied for a few hours then decided to take 40 minutes to myself and go lay by the pool while listening to a podcast. My mother saw me and told me that I had wasted a lot of time on that day. I did not think that wanting 40 minutes to myself before working an 8 hour shift was wasting time. I very rarely get time to myself, I am ALWAYS studying something, or working or getting ready to be somewhere. It is sad to think I live in an environment where taking less than an hour to relax is wasting time.
A year ago, I wrote a post about how I got through my spring semester. I was taking six classes, as I am now, but I can not manage to keep up this time. I'm drowning in work, reading and everything that comes with being a student. I really need to re-read it and see if I can find some information that I can take and put into practice, because when it comes down to it, this semester is not working out, it just isn't.

Ok, this time of relaxing and writing has just turned into a mini-rant of sorts. Maybe I'll find some time to write for reals soon enough.

End of the Semester

A little over a month ago, I signed up for my last semester at MJC. My last semester and I will be graduating with my AA in Language Studies. I am taking one class for my GE in the spring, but the rest of my classes are major related, so I am very excited.

Psych 102 Research Methods: Survey of various psychological research methods with an emphasis on research design, experimental procedures, descriptive methods, instrumentation and the collection, analysis, interpretation and reporting of research data. Research design and methodology will be examined through a review of research in a variety of sub-disciplines of psychology.

Psych 141 Human Lifespan:
-describe and evaluate the major psychological theories of human development.
-explain and assess the methods of research used to study human development.
-apply developmental research and theory to real-life situations.
-distinguish between universal influences and culturally specific influences on human development.
-compare and contrast the characteristics of each stage in the lifespan with preceding and subsequent stages.

Math 134 Elementary Statistics:
Elements of descriptive and inferential statistics, including probability, discrete and continuous probability distributions, hypothesis testing, and regression analysis, ANOVA, and nonparemetric statistics.

History 102 Post Civil War American History:
Survey of United States history from 1865 through contemporary period, exploring the intersection of politics, the economy, society, culture and geography. Periods covered include: Reconstruction,late-19th century industrialization, the American West, imperialism, the Progressive Era, World War I, the 1920s, the 1930s and the Great Depression, World War II, the Cold War, civil rights, and modern America.

Astro 160 Introduction to Modern Astronomy:
Introductory survey course in astronomy. Emphasis on current studies of the solar system, the study of extrasolar planetary systems, the birth and death of stars, and cosmology.

Spcom 130 Intercultural Communications:
Examines the influence of culture on human communication. Students will learn skills to communicate effectively with people from different cultures. Theoretical and practical models are explored. Emphasis on cultural identity, relationships, stereotyping, prejudice, nonverbal and verbal cues, values, beliefs, and norms.

This is more than a full load. Full time is 12 units. The maximum that MJC allows a student to take is 18 units. I got approval to take these 20 units. This will be the third semester in a row that I'll be taking 6 classes, but these ones add up to more units. I also will be on campus a little less than I am now and my work schedule will open up. More school, more work.
I am taking so many classes because as a psychology major, certain universities require certain classes to be completed before admission is granted. All California State Universities (CSU) require the completion of History 101 and 102. Every school I've applied to except for one require stats, a few want Psych 102, others want the 141. I gotta keep every one happy and keep my options open. I've applied to 6 universities. I have a feeling I'll get into at least one of the universities I applied to.
Ryne is defiantly a factor in where I end up going to school. We've only been together for 4 months, but he and I both know this is a serious, long term relationship. We are in this for the long haul. I really don't want anyone to think I am basing my decision on a university on him, but he is a factor. He and I both have had our fair share of unhealthy relationships in the past, we know that we are in a strong, committed, healthy relationship.

This semester has been the hardest I've ever had to deal with. The work as not been especially difficult, nor have I had a problem managing me time. Quite the opposite has been my problem. I am in all GE classes, lower division classes, filled with students who are just barley out of high school, so there was a lot of screwing around and disrespectfulness in my Spanish class, and people who asked really stupid questions in my speech and biology classes. It was really frustrating, I felt like a lot of my time got wasted, and there was nothing I could do about it.
In addition to that, my speech professor passed away a little more than a week ago, so that class got a bit chaotic for a few days, plus the initial shock of his passing at such an early age.
I spent most of my semester begging for shifts every week. I was scheduled maybe 1-3 days a week. If I could work 3-4 days, I'd have been so much better off. I was available 6 days a week ad I kept getting scheduled on the only day I requested off every week. So I did not end up getting to be with my junior high girls very much. I really miss our small group time together. I do get to go to Hume Lake with them in January/February, and Elizabeth and I are planning something for New Years, maybe a sleep over ^_^
Overall, school was not that much fun, work stresses me out constantly, leading to church stress, relationship is wonderful, so happy with that <3

By the Grace of God

Friday April 12, my family is going to be on Good Day Sacramento, a local Good Morning America style show. My mom has a segment promoting her book and the family was invited to be there in the background or something. I'm actually not sure what it is going to be like but McKenna and I will be vlogging the experience for Kelsey and Ken.

My mom got a call on Friday from the producers of the Jeff Probst Show, remember we filmed for them last August?-> http://purplediego.blogspot.com/2012/08/lights-camera-action.html
My parents are also on the commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZqYPfUf9rE&list=FLNczIx9tQtfridvt5WfmkRg&index=1

Well they are finally airing our show on August 21. They were asking for updates on the family and mom said she had her book published, Jordan had joined the marines and that McKenna had been in her pageant in January. It really bothered me that she did not include any information regarding the rest of the family because there is a lot of things that the family has done. For example, one of the highlights of my life, besides taking 7 classes, and being first chair clarinet in the MJC day band is being a deacon and an usher at church. I consider those positions to be an honor, and I am referred to as the "Starbucks girl" more often than not.
The other day my mom bought be a beautiful dress, I am in love with it and I can not remember my mom ever buying me a dress like that. She has purchased McKenna more dresses like that than I can count, and I feel like no matter what, my sisters and I are never going to get the same sort of attention that she gets. No matter how my weight fluctuates, or how I do my make up lighter or darker, or even got the blonde highlights she likes, or how many classes I take or how many "A's" I get, or how many theater classes I take I am never going to capture the interest of her. I have only done one audition in LA because of her efforts and my sisters have don't more than I could count and no matter how much I express my interest in that area, I either am not heard or ignored. I had an audition in San Francisco in November of 2011 and she did not allow me to go even though I had told her I would pay for my own gas in advance.
Yes I am 26, but I am living at home and am a part of the family, but I do not often feel like part of the family. Sure I can drive people around and do chores, but that is the extent of my involvement. It would be nice to really feel like part of the family, and I try, but I keep telling myself that I will get used to the empty feeling I have been feeling for years and years on top of years.

Oh well, I have three weeks of classes left and then I have finals and my bustiest semester will be complete. I still have to attend another play in the next two weeks and write my LLT on it for my theatre class. I was hoping to go to a show earlier today with Mom and McKenna but the conversation I had with my mom about attending must have gotten lost in her head because I was not invited, so I am on the verge of a major major freak out about finding another play to go to.

 I have a meeting with my counselor on Monday morning to make sure I can take the two history classes this summer that will give me the option of applying to CSU's. I am currently on a UC path but I really want to see what my options are. I will be transferring as a theatre major, but I am also interested in music and psychology and really want to find what it best for me, through the grace of God.

I'm just super anxious and excited for this summer and fall, and even more so for what will be happening next year when I graduate and transfer.

School let out over three weeks ago, and I am going crazy. I read some, I go online some, I hang out with my family some, and I have been catching up with a couple of TV shows on Netflix. I have been enjoying the plethora of shifts at work. The next few paychecks are going to be a real blessing. But I can not wait for school to begin again...in 13 days...<_<

I have started lists of schools I'm going to be applying to this fall. Yes this fall I will be finally applying to numerous universities. Here is what I get to factor into these lists:

-I am still going to be graduating with my AA in Language Studies from MJC.
-Theater Major vs. other majors (i.e. psychology, music etc.).
-UC vs. CSU vs. other out of state schools.

These are the logical aspects to applying to school. The other parts I consider important to deciding a school are location, and what is around that I can make a career out of. What will make me happy? I'm sure I could get a good education here in the valley at StanState or in the Bay Area, but I am at this point convinced I won't be happy there.
I have an idea of two schools I am for sure marking as my goal, but its the back up's and other options I am listing. I'm adventurous, I'd love to explore a little more of the world.

I have also been ripping myself up over where I'd like to attend. I have been feeling torn over two locations and it changes on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. How do I deal with the super hard life altering decisions? Hand it over to God. I decided that after my research, I am going to apply to my "x" amount of schools, with an open mind and heart and let God decide where he wants me to go. I also am praying for strength and courage and trust in this decisions because I want to be able to fully dedicate myself to that decision without any regrets or "what if's" or "if only's."