Monday, March 07, 2005

Current mood: working
I've been talking to Bri-Z a lot lately. I really feel like she is one of the few people I can really connect to. It's funny, we were discussing the dramas in each others lives, she knows what is best and who is best for me. And vice versa. I have such a close connections wither I have had with only two other people: Mickalyn and Jonelle. I don't know. I have never felt like I had to be the better of them, I never was the third wheel, or the one who was left out, ever. These girls are probably the people I can best relate to in life as well. We all come from different families, but there are areas that we live in that are similar. Now they are things that are looked down upon to bring up, but we have discussed them, and understand them. There are so many people who can not or were not brought up to make the connection. It's not a bad thing, but not being taught about it or not respecting it is looked down upon. In a foul way, it is almost as bad as racism. We are taught that the color of one's skin does not determine anything about the person. When it is not taught to a person, he or she could miss so many opportunities in life: the experience of a friend, relationship, a successful career. I guess this matter of discussion could alter the relationship between contacts.
Mickalyn is coming home in two weeks, and she is another person I can relate to. Both of our mother are insane, and we are convinced we were twins separated at birth. We just have an inner connection. We could hold an entire conversation with just the glance of a quick eye. Well we have had a conversation with seven words. what we have discovered over the past five years is that it is not important how many things we have in common. We have a lot of things in common, but on the average, we are as different as two can get. But we have learned that it is really important in a relationship is not the similarities, but they way we think. We think and express our opinions the same way. We don't necessarily agree on everything, but we agree the same way if that makes any sense. I am not sure how else I could describe it.
My friendship with Jonelle is very special. We did everything together in middle school, and we recorded many memories together. We kept "letter books" in which we wrote letters to each other. I think we have four, and I have the fourth one here, I should catch it up. But the first three are filled with so so many things. I remember when our family was shopping for houses here in Modesto, she came with us and we would "chat" in the letter books. Now that I think about it, many of our conversations consisted of JR and DF, our crushes. But I don't know, just our connection through our writing, and now our writing goes from the paper to the computer.
I should be doing my essay, can you tell?
So where did this begin? Oh yes, Bri-Z and I. Well after our conversation this evening, I'm not sure what to do. I hope I do the right thing in the end. I have feelings too and I don't want any of them hurt. Well it's late and I have work to do I'm out!

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