In addition to being single for almost two years now, I recently came to the conclusion that I have not been on a date in almost five years. I have for the most part been perfectly happy as a single person, as I have written in previous posts. On the other hand, I have no problem living vicariously through movies or books or music.
A factor in my choosing to be single is the knowledge that I will not be living in the area much longer. I will be a college graduate in less than a year and will be moving on to a university, hopefully in the Southern California region. I have no desire to start up a relationship just to be torn away from it in less than a year.
I trust God with all my heart that He has someone out there in the world for me. I am pretty sure I have not met this person yet, and I have been praying for him for almost two years now. Just today on twitter, bug Hall (@Bug_Hall) tweeted : "I probably haven't met my wife yet, but I've decided to start respecting her now." This really struck a cord with me. I along with Bug have decided that I am going to start respecting my future partner. I'm raising the standards in my life for the people I go out with, if anyone. I have also been praying for myself, that I am becoming prepared for that time. I am comfortable with myself for the most part, but I am so socially awkward.
With this said, I naturally have daydreams, thoughts, and standards. About the sort of person I'd like to end up with, and the sort of life I'd like to have. These have been more intense and I have started feeling a little more lonely in the last month or so. I know that when we plan, God laughs, so I try to not take these dreams too seriously.
It is still hard though, and my new prayer has been for God to settle these feelings and let me save them for when I can fully express myself.
Available? Not quite yet, but so much anticipating the day when I am no longer available.