Catch Up

Well things in life are still up in the air for many people in my life. I think my feelings about...well things are up in the air and I have orders for them to calm down and get back into real life in exactly two weeks.

I went to Smokey's Memorial Service at the end of last month. It was a wonderful service, and Phyl was so happy to know her husband had finally gone home, and I hope to have that kind of strength someday. I really admire her for her courage and spunk. she is never afraid to speak her mind and at the current time, is full of joy when speaking of her husband. Smokey and Phyl are/were never blessed with grandchildren, and they would have made perfect grandparents. They sort of adopted our family for the sake of having grandchildren. They came to David's high school graduation last year and have been over at our house for other occasions. I was not especially close to him, but I will miss seeing him around.
My grandpa suffered a major stroke around the same time, and after wandering around in the gray area for three weeks, he went home to Jesus as well. It has been very hard because my grandmother is the one major "problem" right now. She is unable to take care of herself, so I have been out here in Fremont with other relatives taking acre of her. It is not hard on my part because I don't think I've had any problems with her. She seems to be quarreling with her youngest daughter over eating and medications and such. I think she is in distress over losing her husband of 59 years. I am determined to keep treating her as my grandmother and not treat her like a child. My cousin and I are finding she is doing better if she thinks she is the one taking care of us.I also let her do as many things as she can that are familiar, like locking up the house, checking the mail and watering the yard. (even if she is doing these sever times a day, I think it is fine, it keeps her feeling familiar).
Every one is handling this in their own way. Gramps was such a foundation to this family. The only way I can describe how I am feeling about this is "I really really miss him." I can not really grasp the concept of my Gramps not being here. I've been living in his house, and he is everywhere: in his books, movies music, art and even the mail. Even now, all I can say is how much I miss him. I miss talking to him and hearing his voice and listening to his stories. There are numerous photo albums in this house and I can not keep my hands off of.
there is one more service of his we are going to up in his hometown of Orland.