Saturday, July 23, 2005

Man I'm totally worn out. Just physically and mentally. You would think it's from the stress of me moving.
I have someone who thinks I'm angry with him, and I'm not. What this person does not realize how much I care for him, and would not do a thing in the world to hurt him. I can honestly say I do not treat him any differently from any of my other friends, and yet he still hates me. I can not understand for my life why anymore. I've tried my hardest to fix it, and he can not see that. I'm not saying this with a harsh voice, but a tired and sad voice that is confused and sad about this. I'm not complaining, I'm just reciting what is heavy in my heart at the time. Like seriously here is an example: he offered to help me move to San Diego next week, and I could use the help. So I told him that would be great, and he wavered three times between not being able to help and then being able to help. Then Ben went in, trying to make peace (because cindy also wanted to come and mom wasnt going to have 2 other people come), and told him that I didnt need his help and did not want his help. Totally not true, so now I've been treated like the plague, after I appologized. I feel bad about what happened, and wish he sould stop being so stubborn and just accept an appology from me. And I forget what I am appologizing for? For wanting help moving.... Anyway what do you think?

Well  guess except for the boring details, thats what has been on my mind the past few days. I'm out!

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